Skittles Is Half In the Bag

Kitty blog! Skittles likes to play with plastic bags. Don't worry, we cut out the handles and cut off the ends so she can't get all stuck and die. Oh, and she liked a box once too... insert box joke here.

That Damn Boyfriend Again!

So as a special Christmas surprise to us, Chris' sister brought her idiot boyfriend to Christmas yesterday. I hate him. I refused to talk to him. He's the kind of person that has a story for everything and he always has to butt-in to your conversations with other people. I hate him. I just wanna give a few quick bullet points highlighting his utter stupidity and I will never speak of the 'douche that ruined my night' ever again. I hate him.

• He loves to talk about how Denver (his hometown) is 13 years ahead of Utah culturally. Well, maybe that would have been the case in the 80's, but in 2007, with the myriad of ways we get information, that just isn't, can't be true. All this from the asshole that has never heard of Nintendo Wii or Ikea. 13 years my ass!
• Remember how on Thanksgiving he kept mentioning that he had 10 acres in Douchesne? Well, this time, the thing he kept on including every chance he could was "my twenty year old son..." or "my son who's twenty..." or "the twenty year old that is my son.." or "twenty years ago my ex-wife and I had son that is now twenty and my son...". Why did every single story have to start with that like it was new information? We got it the first time. Twenty years ago you had sex with a woman and had a kid. We don't give a shit. Shut the fuck up.
• He told this story about how Will Smith had to flee the country because of some sort of tax scandal. Well, we all knew that it was Wesley Snipes, not Will Smith. Chris' awesome uncle told him that he was wrong, but he didn't believe it. He was sure it was Will Smith. He's an idiot.
• He walked in the door with Chris' sister and Chris went right up and happily greeted his sister with a big "HEY!" and a hug. The asshole had the nerve to say "aren't you going to say hi to me?". Who does something like that?
• When he wasn't talking about his goddmaned twenty year old son, he was talking about his four year old daughter that has mental problems because when she was a baby a mexican hurt her or abused her or something so now whenever she meets a mexican she punches them in the penis. I'm pretty sure that was his way of saying he abused his daughter while he was wearing a sombrero and eating tacos.

The one thing that made me smile during this whole thing, besides having side conversations about how big of an idiot he is with Chris' awesome aunt, was how he would always call Chris' sister 'honey' or 'sweetie' and she just calls him Mike. I love it! It's obvious that she's not really that into him and that he won't be around long. He even got her a ring and when Chris' grandma asked the sister if it was an engagement ring, she immediately said "NO, no, no, NO. No." My favorite!

I Love My Husband

It's been getting crazy cold up in Park City lately, so Chris has been looking for a more heavy duty coat to be wearing. He found this old down coat of mine in the closet the other day and he's been wearing it alot. It's a bit small, the sleeves need to be a few inches longer, and it's super puffy and he looks a bit odd in it but I say, if it keeps him warm, wear it. So the other day he had it on and was going through the pockets and found this old keychain that I had from way-back-when. I used to carry around a keychain of his senior year yearbook picture. It's crazy adorable and he looks so so so young. I've loved him for so long, all the way from the days of baby-faced school pictures. I can't imagine my life without him.

A little tease for Sex...

I swear this won't become 'JD's Kitty Blog'...

But Skittles is so damn cute, I can't help but talk about her!

So, Skittles loves to come running into the bathroom, jump onto the toilet seat and then leap onto the bathroom counter to watch the water in the sink. She can't get enough of it. She loves to just sit and stare at the flow of water when we brush our teeth or do our hair. So, please don't get all grossed out here, but Chris and I are at the point in our relationship where we pee with the door open. And if he's in there going and I need to go, I'll yell "don't flush!" so we can conserve water. So let's just combine all this info together now... He's in there doing his number one, I yell "don't flush", Skittles comes running into the bathroom and, well, wouldn't you know it, she jumps right into the toilet. The toilet filled with pee pee. Ewwww. Well, this caused us to give Skittles her very first bath and that's why I'm talking about it because look at this cute picture of her all wet!!!

Fun for the whole 'family'

What the?

So Chris tells me that he spent hours yesterday at work watching this video over and over and over. Nerd.

More Skittles

This is one of the first pictures we took of our new wittle kidden Skittles! We got her from a friend of a friend that turned out to be in my mom's ward... total small world! She is the runt of the litter so she is smaller than than she should be. It confused the hell out of the vet when we took her in for her first set of shots a few weeks back.

See how effing tiny and cute she is?!?!?

This is the day she figured out how to get herself into the garbage can. She loved it in there! The fun part was watching her try to get out. She couldn't do it. It was awesome!

So at her first vet appointment she only weighed one pound. This was back on November 6th. A mere three weeks later she weighed in at 2 and a half pounds. She had doubled in size like some freak genetic experiment. I'm sure it's normal for cats to grow so fast but I don't like it. I want her to be a tiny and cute cuddle-bug forever.

Introducing Skittles Magoo Floto-Ramey!

She was born September 14th, 2007 and she joined our family October 25th. We love her SO much! Much more Skittles to come!

I want to punch these girls in the face.

From June 20th, 2007...

I placed my order into the speaker box, a number one combo with a large coke and a chocolate shake.

I pulled around and paid the lady in the tiny window.

I drove up to the next window and the girl handed me a bag with my food.

She walked away and I waited.

And I waited some more.

The girl came back and asked me if everything was alright, like I had some issue with the food she handed me a minute earlier.

I pointed out the obvious fact, I hadn't received my drink or shake yet.

Somehow, that confused her. She had to go get another girl. They spoke and then that girl went to get another girl. It was this third girl that came to my window and asked me the same question again, was everything alright?

And now I become a douche.

"Um, no, everything is not alright! No one's given me my drink or my shake!"

Third girl comes back a moment later with my shake, apologizes and tells me to have a nice day.

Third girl walks away.

Now, I'm SuperDouche.

"Where's my coke?!?!" I yelled to the girls that weren't standing anywhere near the window.

First girl comes back.

"What did you order?"

I can't fucking believe it.

"A LARGE COKE! How hard IS this???"

She gets my coke, I snatch it from her hand and drive away.

I want to punch them all in the face.

Top 10 Reason's I Hate My Sister-In-Law's New Boyfriend

10. For 4 hours on Thanksgiving, he never stopped talking.

9. He mentioned that he had 10 acres in Duchesne at least 20 times.

8. He has three earrings... in just his left ear.

7. He's a bounty hunter... like Dog, not Boba-Fett.

6. He farms pigs on those 10 acres.

5. Every time we had a story, he had a better one. Usually about someone almost dying.

4. He called them cartoons. They are animated features.

3. It's Monsters Inc., not Monster Inc.

2. The word is 'stole' or 'stolen' NOT 'stold'.

1. Did I mention he's got 10 acres in Duchesne?