That Damn Boyfriend Again!

So as a special Christmas surprise to us, Chris' sister brought her idiot boyfriend to Christmas yesterday. I hate him. I refused to talk to him. He's the kind of person that has a story for everything and he always has to butt-in to your conversations with other people. I hate him. I just wanna give a few quick bullet points highlighting his utter stupidity and I will never speak of the 'douche that ruined my night' ever again. I hate him.

• He loves to talk about how Denver (his hometown) is 13 years ahead of Utah culturally. Well, maybe that would have been the case in the 80's, but in 2007, with the myriad of ways we get information, that just isn't, can't be true. All this from the asshole that has never heard of Nintendo Wii or Ikea. 13 years my ass!
• Remember how on Thanksgiving he kept mentioning that he had 10 acres in Douchesne? Well, this time, the thing he kept on including every chance he could was "my twenty year old son..." or "my son who's twenty..." or "the twenty year old that is my son.." or "twenty years ago my ex-wife and I had son that is now twenty and my son...". Why did every single story have to start with that like it was new information? We got it the first time. Twenty years ago you had sex with a woman and had a kid. We don't give a shit. Shut the fuck up.
• He told this story about how Will Smith had to flee the country because of some sort of tax scandal. Well, we all knew that it was Wesley Snipes, not Will Smith. Chris' awesome uncle told him that he was wrong, but he didn't believe it. He was sure it was Will Smith. He's an idiot.
• He walked in the door with Chris' sister and Chris went right up and happily greeted his sister with a big "HEY!" and a hug. The asshole had the nerve to say "aren't you going to say hi to me?". Who does something like that?
• When he wasn't talking about his goddmaned twenty year old son, he was talking about his four year old daughter that has mental problems because when she was a baby a mexican hurt her or abused her or something so now whenever she meets a mexican she punches them in the penis. I'm pretty sure that was his way of saying he abused his daughter while he was wearing a sombrero and eating tacos.

The one thing that made me smile during this whole thing, besides having side conversations about how big of an idiot he is with Chris' awesome aunt, was how he would always call Chris' sister 'honey' or 'sweetie' and she just calls him Mike. I love it! It's obvious that she's not really that into him and that he won't be around long. He even got her a ring and when Chris' grandma asked the sister if it was an engagement ring, she immediately said "NO, no, no, NO. No." My favorite!